Sometimes the Chief used to get hiccups when he drank...just sometimes....but they weren't the cute cartoon drunk hiccups, these were relentless, painful, and unstoppable. We went through every imaginable cure that anyone could think of...breathing into a bag...teaspoon of sugar...drink from the other side of the glass (that had to be someone's idea of a joke 'cause if you try it, the drink goes down your shirt!)...jumping jacks...and on and on. We tried scaring him, too...not a good idea when dealing with a WWII vet with baggage...but in an effort to ease the pain we tried 'em all.
Then one day an aunt of mine suggested that we hadn't scared him badly enough. So Mom hatched a scheme. We lived in a two story victorian style house on the side of a hill just out of downtown San Diego (the exact location is now under the north bound lanes of I-5). The stairs to the second floor were at the back of the house and were one long staircase, no midway landing. Mom decided to fake falling down the stairs the next time the hiccups struck and see if that would do the trick. (If this sounds like a less than optimal plan, remember, the Chief did not drink alone).
So on the next hiccupping occasion, we put the plan in motion. We watched TV upstairs because in the days of no cable, upstairs got better reception with rabbit ears. The Chief started in hiccupping about mid way through Perry Mason and Mom excused herself to go to the kitchen for refills, winking at me and my little sister on the way out so we would know it was on. She got down enough stairs to be out of sight, sat down and began to slide. It was like a school yard slide with bumps. She made a lot of screaming and yelling noises and convincing racket...sure sounded authentic to us kids...and apparently the Chief, too, cause he was out of his chair and down the stairs like a shot. In fact, he almost beat Mom to the bottom.
The reason that Mom sounded so authentic was because half way down she lost control and although barely able to keep from tumbling, she could not slow her slide and the stairs were pounding the heck out of her backside. Just before the Chief could rescue her, she felt her tailbone crack and then the screams got real intense.
The Chief reached her and halted her slide just before the bottom step, he swept her up in his arms almost in tears (I would be hard pressed to find any weakness in the man, drinking...well, some might say that was a weakness, but if there was any it would be his absolute and undying devotion to Mrs. Chief) clear off the ground in one swoop, the look of terror on his face made all of us ashamed of our scheme. He set her down gently and said, "Honey! Are (hic) you alright (hic)?"
We've had a lot more suggestions given us over the years, but suggesting scare tactics would earn you Mom's retort, "Kiss my broken Tailbone!"