OPINION
EEEUUUWW
Published on September 17, 2007 By Big Fat Daddy In Misc
The other day I was sitting in a port-potty at a gravel pit. A water truck came by and sprayed the road for dust control. The spray hit the little house I was in and the initial spray hitting the plastic wall of the potty sounded alot like bullets hitting it. Which aided in my endeavor. But it reminded me that in the world of men, helpless in a porta-potty just means "TARGET". It also reminded me of this:

Many years ago I was driving a dump truck to a parking lot in a new apartment complex. We were bringing in hot asphalt mix and dumping it into a little paver that hooked onto the back of your truck to move around. I was backing into a tight corner of the lot with the Layton box attached to my truck...it was a tight turn and I had the cut right but there was a porta-potty right in front of me. This dump truck had a very tight turning radius and when the wheels were turned all the way one way or the other, the front of the truck moved almost sideways. I didn't want to pull forward to realign, I figured if my front bumper touched the potty, it would just slide it along the sidewalk for a few feet then come off of it. So I gently made the contact...bumper right on the middle of the door...and slid the potty about three feet...then the bumper came off of the potty and I had the perfect alignment for the paver...all's well that ends well, right? Well...almost. As soon as the bumper of the truck left the potty door, it flew open and a worker dashed out of there holding his pants up with one hand and gesturing to me in American Sign Language with the other.

So the water truck trick was Karma playing payback...I guess.

Comments
on Sep 17, 2007
HAHAHAHA Thanks for the laugh Dad
on Sep 17, 2007
NOTE TO SELF: Stay outta porta-potties when Big Fat Daddy's in da house!

Great tale!
on Sep 17, 2007
How rude - lol!  I will have to consider that story if I ever need to use a porta potty, I will use it in a big hurry. 
on Sep 17, 2007
I guess that makes old people constipated - the fear of out houses on parade.
on Sep 17, 2007
We are all victims of our own junior high school self...finding humor in a situation that scared the s*** out of a poor worker...shame on us...hehehehe.
on Sep 17, 2007
hahahahah I knew there was a reason why I'm a woods gal instead of a porta potty one.....

I have two PP stories. The first one is seeing my husband pass me in a race (more than once) when he should have been way ahead of me at the start. Seems as tho he was once AGAIN in the potty when the gun went off. He always has to do his thing as close to the start of a race as he can. So now when I see him whizz by me I know where he's been. Big grin on his face tells me he knows what I know as well.

The other is I have a new house in the stage of being built. My friend sent me a pic of the new house with a caption that said she loved the "matching bathrooms." Outside my new home were three well placed green porta potties. Didn't add much to the landscape even being green I might add.

I'm sure there are lots of potty stories out there. Anybody else have one?

on Sep 17, 2007
So now when I see him whizz by me I know where he's been


I thought that was what the porta-potty was for...hehehe.
on Sep 20, 2007
Whip: I concur with your assessment of the quality of patron that graces a porta-potty. Unfortunately, there were way too many times when "bathroom" conditions were so horrendous that we looked upon porta-potties as pure luxury. Thanks for the story...I get a giggle just picturing it. The Chief and us 'ns lived in Japan for a couple of years...any one who lived there in the 50' s would remember the 'Honey wagons"...There aren't any sewers in the residential areas, each house has a shallow "septic tank" for want of a better description...trucks with big barrels of ...the content of the tanks...talk about a crappy job. The honey bucket man comes around and scoops the stuff out of your septic tank with a big ladle and puts it into covered buckets. They take it out to the fields on the trucks and use it for fertilizer. Anyway, there are many a sailor who got crosswise with one of the trucks and wound up having the "contents" spill all over them and their cars. eeeuuuw !!

Gotta give you another thanks...your revenge reminded me of an episode that happened in Vietnam...the phantom pisser. Coming soon to a blog near you !
on Sep 21, 2007
I'd like to know what it is about a porta-potty that turns people into disgusting animals, pissing and shitting all over the place


I awoke in the middle of the night and shat in his boots.


Wha!?!

From the way this comment began, who could've guessed where it was going? Ha!