This is a short one but has always been one of my favorites because Willie is involved and his quick wit was always a joy to me. I am not sure how it will come across in print, well, you be the judge.
When we were doing student convoys in the back country of Fort Ord, we were fed lunch by the cook school's field mess operation (where their students learned to use their field equipment). There was limited parking at the field mess so we parked the convoys at a nearby break area and loaded the student drivers into two or three (depending on the size of the class...20 students to a truck) deuce-and-a-halfs and transported them to chow. Accountability is a big thing in the Army, they don't like it when you lose things...rifles...night vision goggles...ammuntition...and especially students. So it was important to count noses (since the students were always attached) before we left to lunch and before we returned from lunch. A deuce-and-a-half is usually covered with a canvas tarp which is opaque. It makes it hard to see inside so the usual method of counting the noses was to yell into the back of the truck ..."COUNT OFF !!" The first student on one side of the rear of the truck would yell "ONE" then on down the seat on that side each would follow with the next number..."TWO"..."THREE"..."FOUR"...well, you get the picture. The count would work up to the front on one side then come back down to the rear on the other side until you reached the end...which gave you the magic number you needed to return with.
On one day, a warm, lazy-encouraging, sunny day, we loaded up to return after lunch. Willie and I worked as a team helping each other close up the tailgates of our trucks. Then Willie yelled into the back of his truck..."COUNT OFF". About a dozen voices rang out with ..."ONE". I guess it was the warm air and being fresh from lunch that confused the poor darlings. And once the mistake was made by some...the rest froze in silence...not knowing what to do or say and definately not wanting Little Willie going off on them. After a few seconds of silence, Willie looked at me and said..."Crap ! I'm missing 19 students !"
I guess you had to be there. But right now...I am laughing my butt off just remembering it.