OPINION
How I Miss Hating The Soviets
Published on May 1, 2008 By Big Fat Daddy In Misc

A few years ago we hired a Ukranian, I mean a fresh-off-the-boat Ukranian. His name was not pronouncable by western tongues so we called him "Slavic". He liked that as a nickname. He was about 5'8" and slight in build, dark hair and eyes, pleasant enough fellow; a very good truck driver, too. When I first met him I asked where he had learned to drive a truck. He had learned in the Soviet Army. I studied him quietly for several minutes, causing him to become very uncomfortable. I was so disappointed. I mean, for most of my 26 years in the Army, I was a "NATO" soldier. I put a little under 14 years in Germany, some of that sitting on the border being watched by the VOPOs we were watching. I finally broke the silence by saying, "I thought you guys were all ten feet tall."

I miss the Soviets. Not the Slavics, but the T-80, BMP, MIG 29, Super Boomer, Bear Bomber, ten foot tall, bullet proof, razorblade eating, resistance crushing Soviets. We stood toe to toe across a line in the loam facing an enemy you could be proud to hate. They had uniforms we had to study so we would recognize them, they had modern equipment and tanks and planes and borders and a flag and ideology...they had representatives at the United Nations. They had grand schemes and budgets and plans to suck up more countries behind their "Iron Curtain". They had an "Order of Battle", a tactical and strategic dogma, they were highly organized, they had a chain of command. In other words, they were everything our current enemy isn't. Most important, we knew that if the Soviets came at us, there was the remote possibility that they would win. We had to stay on our toes ALWAYS. I asked a General who was visiting EUCOM if he really thought the Russians would invade Germany. His very serious answer was that it wasn't a matter of "if"...but "when". So I modified my question to when did he think they would come. "The very day they believe they can get away with it" was his chilling answer.

That is why we studied their tactics, uniforms, praticed with flashcards of their equipment and armor vehicles and aircraft, kept a 24/7 watch on their activities. When I was stationed in Bad Kissingen, our mission was border surveillance. We were told plainly that we were simply a "speed bump"...a delaying force that would get smashed into a wet spot on the forest floor. Hopefully, we would delay them long enough to allow the rest of the USAREUR to get their guns loaded and get into position to slow them down some more until Stateside units could get in theater to help out. At the peak of the cold war we had roughly 5 divisions in Germany facing about 100 divisions of Soviets.

Call me crazy, but it's the enemy-you-know- versus- the- enemy- you- don't- know thing. No wonder so many people are having the yawns trying to keep up with this war. A lot of people are still denying there really IS a war (there is, by the way). The only thing the Radical Islaamic Jihadist Fundamentalist whoevers have in common with the Soviets is their love of the AK47 and the fact that they would love us to leave them alone. I kind of prefer having a real, scary guy sitting across the line who stays there (kept in place by the ridiculous policy of "Mutually Assured Distruction") than some ragtag, uneducated rube who doesn't care who dies with him.

Oh, and I miss those Mayday Parades, all those mobile rocket launchers, tanks, thousands of troops tromping down in front of Lenin's Tomb...now THAT's an enemy to be proud of.


Comments
on May 01, 2008
Sadly or gladly those days are gone. Perhaps not forever. They let an Austrian corporal ruin europe once by not being vigilent. As long as someone remains vigilent, the odds of it happening are greatly reduced. There are a lot of applicants for the job, but they are kept as also rans for now.
on May 01, 2008

Personally I like the Ak-47 much better than the M-16.  I can't hit the broad side of a barn with the 16, but I keep a nice tight pattern with the 47.  My FIL has one...he is a gun collector. 

I liked it better when they were ten feet also.  At least it made sense.  All this hitting, running and hiding stuff gets on my last nerve.  But I bet the Brits said the same thing about us about the time of the Revolutionary War.

on May 02, 2008

Tova:  I always preferred the M 14, it was the last military weapon that actually LOOKED like a rifle.  The AK is a masterpiece of simplicity, and you pointed out the biggest selling point, almost anyone can use it and be reasonably accurate.  The 7.62 X39 round is not as potent as the NATO 7.62 that the M 14 fires, but it is comparable to the M 16's 5.56.  But then, most old soldiers prefer their first rifle, only natural, I guess.

I don't remember the minutemen flying passenger jets into the heart of New Amsterdam...but maybe they would have, given the opportunity.

Doc:  The most popular theme in action novels this last year has been the return of the Evil Empire and the Cold War.  We thought we were being vigilant while a gangster in the Baathist Party took contol of his country.  A student activist who started off storming the American Embassy in 1979 now holds the reins of power in his country...and the son of a pot belly pig is now the big hog in his house.  And who knows who is waiting in the wings to show us how to ruin the world?  We may even have one hanging around here. 

on May 02, 2008

I can't imagine what it must have been like to be a "speed bump" to your platoons' safety!  Those must have been some hairy-scary times for you!

So, now the intelligence have a much order time getting to know our current enemies then uh?  I hear ya about the 'enemy you know", it makes a world of difference! 

 

His very serious answer was that it wasn't a matter of "if"...but "when". So I modified my question to when did he think they would come. "The very day they believe they can get away with it" was his chilling answer.

Sends shivers down my spine!

on May 02, 2008

Big Fat Daddy- I love reading your articles, you should write a book (if you haven't already)

Call me crazy, but it's the enemy-you-know- versus- the- enemy- you- don't- know thing. No wonder so many people are having the yawns trying to keep up with this war. A lot of people are still denying there really IS a war (there is, by the way). The only thing the Radical Islaamic Jihadist Fundamentalist whoevers have in common with the Soviets is their love of the AK47 and the fact that they would love us to leave them alone. I kind of prefer having a real, scary guy sitting across the line who stays there (kept in place by the ridiculous policy of "Mutually Assured Distruction") than some ragtag, uneducated rube who doesn't care who dies with him.

Not meaning to dispute you, but a few points for debate perhaps-

The ragtag uneducated rube would most likely be Bin Laden, who is university educated. He also has a lot of experience fighting structured armies when he learned all about fighting the soviets on our dime in the 80's. So he is in fact very well educated, very experienced at fighting a large conventional force that has lots of hardware while his side is considerably under-equipped in comparison. The fancy toys that he had when fighting the soviets came from us, but now they've found other 'benefactors' in the form of sympathetic elements of various groups, and of course there are always plenty of folks from a host of nations who are more than happy to trade weapons for hard cash. So the role that the U.S played in supporting the mujahideen has been replaced with a variety of benefactors.

Something that's not heavily reported is that what we are doing right now in Afghanistan and Iraq is exactly what Al Queda planned. Back in 1998 Bin Laden actually laid out his plans in a press conference (he has something like a 20 year plan by the way and we're only on year 10) He stated that they were going to stage attacks against the States with the desire of provoking a "cowboy" response. Essentially getting us so angry that we start sending troops into muslim countries, which is exactly what hapenned after 9/11. This gave them the biggest opportunities while creating the most risk for the U.S- they WANT to fight us over there, because shipping costs are a lot less and they don't have to worry about elaborate plans to evade security for infiltrators. They've openly said it themselves that getting folks into western countries for terror attacks is a royal pain in the but. It takes years of planning, they have to get folks trained up and clean-cut enough to blend in long enough to do the job, then they have to scope out the area ahead of time, get channels for funding, accomodation, fake ID's, VISAS, blah blah blah.

With the U.S as foreign occupiers, they get the chance to shoot at Americans then run into civillian areas which then quite often get hit with airstrikes, thus causing more dissent against the Americans. I'm not defending BL at all, I'm just saying there is indeed method to his madness.

We can argue till the cows come home about how the war on terror is going, but obviously Bin Laden knows a thing or two because he's still alive, his organization is still thriving, and so is the Taliban. Last year was a record crop of opium in Afghanistan, a lot of which is going to fund their operations. I guess what I'm trying to say is we should never make the mistake of underestimating our enemies. Especially when they've managed to fight a war against the world's biggest superpower for almost 7 years running.

 

 

on May 02, 2008

A nice definable enemy with easily spotted equipment and easily intercepted comms. Those were the days my friend.

on May 02, 2008

"The ragtag uneducated rube would most likely be Bin Laden, who is university educated. He also has a lot of experience fighting structured armies when he learned all about fighting the soviets on our dime in the 80's"

The ragtag uneducated rube is the fiery eyed idiot who straps up and lights himself off in a crowd.  I don't see UBL doing that, nor do I see any of his high ranking, educated, well trained associates. 

UBL, Hamas, Hezbolah, Army of God, and all the rest show the Muslim world how much they care about them by killing them by the thousands. 

The "cowboy" response UBL wanted, he got.  And it has cost him and his cohorts thousands of lives.  The problem is that they really don't care how many they lose as long as they irritate us.  UBL on the other hand has played right into our master plan which is to keep the fight out of the USA and provide us the opportunity to kill as many of them as possible.  That plan is working, too.

Let's not trot out the misconception that the Muj beat the Russian Army in Afganistan, either.  The Russians got caught up in the same burocratic crap there that we did in Vietnam.  And as you pointed out, the Muj would all be with their virgins now if not for the billions we spent supporting them.

 

on May 02, 2008

Had to leave for a while, but I'm back. 

" Especially when they've managed to fight a war against the world's biggest superpower for almost 7 years running"

And the dinks did it for ten.  Anyone can mount an insurgency and play hit and run with reasonable success.  Don't mistake that for genious.  In the same space of time the Soviet Army killed MILLIONS (39-46).  I do not underestimate the devotion of our current enemy...just his effectiveness.  He really ain't much of an enemy.  I don't have much respect for his tactics or his strategy.  The only thing they count on is the American public ending this war because they can't stomach the losses.  That ain't much of a strategy, especially when the kill ratio is running about 10 to 1 (unofficial source).  UBL and his ilk have had limited success on the micro level at the expense of having a luxurious life of ease moving from cave to cave to safehouse to tent in order to stay alive.

So I say it again, give me an enemy with the cajones to stand up to you and tell you face to face he plans to bury you and backs it up with divisions.

FS:  Yeah, it shivered quite a few spines over the years.

GW:  I'll share a creepy moment with ya...in the build up to DESERT STORM, the Syrian Army sent a tank unit to provide security at KKMC...That was pretty freaky seeing T-72s guarding the gate and pulling mobile patrols in the area.

on May 02, 2008
spotted equipment


Shoot anyone with spotted equipment!
on May 02, 2008

Shoot anyone with spotted equipment!

on May 02, 2008
" Especially when they've managed to fight a war against the world's biggest superpower for almost 7 years running"


As did the Afghans against the Soviets (THE largest army of that time) for 10 years.

BFD is right. They are not winning anything, but they are killing many. Just as the street gangs of the USA are doing. I guess by the logic of some, we should cede the inner cities to the gangs here.
on May 02, 2008

Hamas, Hezbolah, Army of God, and all the rest show the Muslim world how much they care about them by killing them by the thousands

Well for one, most of those organizations actually provide social services, electrical generation, potable water and trash collection in communities that the 'official' government ignores their even existence, due to cultural differences, corruption and a whole host of factors. This was why Hezbollah's popularity in Lebanon was significantly increased when Israel invaded in 2006. Hezbollah provided reconstruction, medical services, and even managed to fight the IDF to a standstill despite significant superiority in firepower and technology.

on May 02, 2008

Ahhh..."just like leaves in the autumn wind...we're driftin' "

Back to the point at hand...take all those raggedy-assed organizations and lump them together and line 'em up on a 12 man front and show me their tanks...no?...their air force?...their navy?...I DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THEM...I just don't respect them as any kind of "noble" adversary.  Taken as a whole, all of them wouldn't make a pimple on the Soviet Army's rump.  The Islaamic radicals who mean us harm are good for one thing and one thing only, no matter what kind of infrastructure they provide or medical services or water fountains...they are great "targets."

on May 02, 2008
I just don't respect them as any kind of "noble" adversary.


Isn't that an unusual belief for a soldier who's fought as you have? My impression was that most soldiers came back with the belief no war was noble, and that you did what it took to get the job done and keep your mates alive.

Do soldiers really pine for the days of carefully lined up regiments and shiny parade uniforms? Or am I misreading you here?

The insurgent tactics of the militants are good ones because they work, and because they work they demand respect. They may not be nice, but neither's sending your people to their deaths in a straight fight you have no chance of winning.
on May 03, 2008

"Do soldiers really pine for the days of carefully lined up regiments and shiny parade uniforms? Or am I misreading you here?"


I started this off as a tongue-in-cheek kind of a thing...Mayday was a big deal for the Soviets and I was waxing nostalgic about life in NATO in the old days.  Despite how many times you hear it in the news, insurgent...terrorist...tactics will not win a war.  They couldn't beat us on the battlefield so they resort to a campaign designed to demoralize the soldiers, their families and their fellow countrymen.  We have been dicking around with this stupid situation in Iraq for years now and still haven't had as many killed in combat as were killed in  ONE DAY, 6th June 1944.  But if you listen to the way it is reported in the news, we are getting our asses handed to us every day.  Ain't so.

 "... no war was noble,"

This is a hard thing.  I have said many times that no one hates war as much as the soldiers who have to go do it.  I didn't ever say that there weren't any wars that needed fighting.  Sometimes it is just the only way to solve a problem.  I truly believe that going after the Muslim extremists was long overdue.  Did we do it right?  Could we have done it better?  Those answers come from way above my pay grade.  Did it need to be done? ABSOLUTELY.

Despite what is reported in the opinion-forming attempts in the news, most  of the soldiers I have talked to agree that it needed to be done, that it was the right thing to do, and that we are making a big difference.  And they want to be able to finish it.  That is our military for ya, they ARE a noble bunch.

I guess my point is really that the enemy we are fighting now are being elevated in the press to the level of "noble warriors".  We hear more often the phrase that we are facing foreign fighters and insurgents and all that does is give them status they don't deserve.  They are heartless terrorists, they kill indescriminately for the headlines...the fear...to clog the systems...and to bring glory to their cause.  They use any means they can.  They do not care how many of their own people they kill in the name of the cause.  They are loosely allied by their common belief in a distortion of Islaam that makes it okay to kill innocents but other that sharing post cards and headlines, they are not really a cohesive unit.

No one wants to go back to the cold war days, although it looks as if we may be headed that way.  Maybe it stems from the infuence of the little bit of native American blood in me...they believed a man could be judged by the greatness of his enemies.  Our current crop of enemies ain't for much.