It is a miserable, foggy, drizzly, cold, and sodden day, perfect for a football story. I have to disclose that this is not my story, it was told to me and couple of my friends while we were working with a neighbor. He wanted to build a fountain in his back yard and we were helping to mortar and stack large smooth rocks into place. While we worked, the neighbor told us several silly tales of his youth, he was about twenty years older than us. I know what you're thinking, older guy spinning yarns for three teenage boys, gotta be more tale than truth. Could be. I am not claiming the truthfulness of the story, just passing it along because on this crappy day, a perfect football day, it is an amusing football story. I don't even care if it is true or not. But the neighbor claimed to be not only on the field but also in the locker room after...swears it was true.
it would be a cooler story if the game had been a championship decider, or a crucial playoff. But it was just a game. True fans know there is no such thing as "just a game", but this was only important to the players, their families, and the schools involved. It got down to the last few seconds and the opposing team had driven into field goal range. They lined up to make the attempt. The neighbor was a linebacker and was absolutely determined to block the kick. But he was a good linebacker and as the ball was snapped, the opposing team double-teamed him, closing him out completely. But that left a small gap on the other side of the line and through that gap shot one of the other backs. He was a mico-second too late to stop the ball, but he did stop the kicker's kicking foot...with his groin. The kick was good and the ensuing celebration masked the fact that the almost-blocker was rolling on the ground screaming in agony. Finally, the coach saw his player writhing and ran out to see what was up. The coach could tell that this was no ordinary groin-wrack, this boy was HURT. So they hustled him to the locker room.
When they got him on the table in the locker room and pulled his pants down, they were met with a horrible sight. Let me try to describe the events, delicately. When the kicker's foot made contact with the blocker's cup, the cup cracked. The crack opened up for just a split second then snapped back together. Unfortunately, during that split-second, part of the blocker's anatomy that the cup was designed to protect poked out, then got trapped poking out when the cup resumed its normal shape. The sight that the coaching staff and the players who had carried the blocker into the locker room (one of which was the neighbor) was met with was a very distended and discolored...bit of anatomy. The blocker, still screaming in agony, seeing the dilemma he was in, increased his screams in volume and intensity.
Several attempts were made by some very strong men to somehow make the cup open up again, but they were unable to budge it. Then one of the coaches came in with a set of heavy tinsnips (he doubled as a shop teacher) and announced, "Here we go...we'll just cut it off"...the blocker passed out dead away...before they could explain that it was the CUP they intended to cut off.
Every year when the season starts up, when the boys line up across from each other ready to charge and do mayhem, I feel a rush of excitement. I am a hopeless fan. I love football. I have been a faithful (and sometimes quite critical) fan. A lot of folks buy their jersey's based on who won the last Super Bowl. Fair weather fans. My team has been in "building" phase for about seven years now but I still wear their colors and have their pennant on my wall. I was watching the night that Joe Theisman's leg got broken. Was watching the game when Napleon McCallum's knee got bent backwards. Have seen endless replays of hundreds of hits, blocks, sacks, crunches and other descriptive words for the human train wrecks that take place on the field. None of them make me cringe the way this story does. Everytime I see a player breaking in to block a kick I think about the tinsnips and that poor high school kid.