Yesterday many of us watched the UFO-looking balloon drifting over the flats of Colorado (yes, almost half of the state is flat). The helicopter did laps around it, followed it to its resting place in an open field. We were treated to breathless speculations about the six year old boy who was supposed to be inside the balloon. Experimental Aircraft experts speculated on the volume of helium needed to lift a six year old, if he could be alive, what was he breathing. Witnesses insisted they saw something fall out of the balloon, was it him? Or was there a gondola under the balloon and what happened to it?
And then, I see Sheriff Joe from Maricopa County...in Arizona. Fox news was interviewing him about a balloon that was drifting across Colorads. I was thinking that either Fox's producers need a map or there weren't any Colorado law enforcement folks available. Then something else occured to me. I think that the East-of-the-Mississippi mind set is that out-west is all alike. In the east, especially around the Big Apple, the image of the "next state over" is like New York to Connecticutt, or Connecticutt to Massechusets (out-west we don't know how to spell back-east states). So Arizona is right next to Colorado, isn't it? Okay so far, I get that. (The distance from Phoenix to Fort Collins is roughly the same as the distance from New York City to Charleston. South Carolina).
The next thing I know, Fox is interviewing a former New York Police detective. At least Sheriff Joe had the good sense to be amused that he was being interviewed. He kept telling the interviewer that he could only speculate based on his experiences in his county. He made it plain that he couldn't speak for Colorado or its law enforcement practices. The NY cop spoke authoritatively as if he were involved in the search. The Fox producers must have felt that there weren't any police detectives in Colorado that were worth listening to...remember how the Boulder cops handled the Jon Benet case.
Well, we are used to the kicked-to-the-curb treatment we get from the elitists on the right and left coasts. We are referred to as "fly-over" country. Our populations are spread out instead of stacked, we drove pickups before pickups were cool. We are only interesting to them for the skiing or fishing or hunting or dune-buggying we provide. On the other hand, they provide us with a giggle or two, watching these flat-landers trying to find enough air to breath and talk at the same time.
Turns out the kid was hiding in the overhead of the garage. Apparently he got scared that he would be in trouble for letting the balloon go...so he hid. I am glad he is okay.