OPINION
Published on June 14, 2011 By Big Fat Daddy In Misc

The position of Chief of Protocol at US EUCOM (United States European Command) is an Air Force full colonel billet. It is common for senior Lieutenant Colonels to be assigned there if they are on the promotion list. Jon Boursaw came to Patch Barracks (the home of EUCOM) in that very position. He was a good boss; I enjoyed working for him, for the most part, and the office had a pretty light-hearted air under his leadership. When his promotion was finally announced, he went out and bought a new cap and a shiny new silver eagle and pinned it on. He kept it in his desk drawer so on the day he was pinned, he would have the new hat with the correct rank on it ready to wear home. So, told you all that so I could tell you this:

 

On the day of his promotion, I left for lunch a little early, went to the clothing sales store, and bought a new Air Force cap, one that was two sizes smaller than the one in the colonel's desk drawer. I switched the eagle onto the smaller cap, tore out the size tab, and waited.

 

That afternoon we were all invited into the General's office while they read the orders, put on the new eagle epaulets, shook hands, made the short speeches, took the smiling photos, cut the cake, made the toasts, and then went back to work. Col Boursaw announced that he thought he might just as well take the rest of the afternoon off, since there were further festivities waiting at the Officers' Club. We stood around in the hall as he stepped into his office, proudly plucked his new cap out of the drawer, and then tried to fit it onto his head as he talked to us and others. He slowly became more distracted by the uncooperative cap and his conversation slowed. He pulled the cap down and stared at it; he was confused. He said that it was brand new and had fit perfectly just the other day. I asked him what the problem was, in my most concerned and helpful tone. He tried again but the cap was just too small.

 

One of my favorite comedy lines is from the Texas comedian Ron White. In one of his stories he says, "I had the right to remain silent...but I did not have the ability"...if I had had, it might have been a perfect prank. But I couldn't resist observing that it seemed to be a common problem for newly promoted Air Force officers. He looked at me with a quizzical look...then I watched realization slowly move into his eyes. He struggled to keep a smile from erupting as he scoldingly told me to give him his cap. I tried to play it off but cracked up instead.

 

In the military, having a sense of humor can be dangerous at times. Pranking senior officers is like poking a sleeping bear with a sharp stick, you can never be sure if the bear won't just turn on you and eat you. It speaks volumes about the working relationship in our office, the mutual respect, that a Army Staff Sergeant could needle an Air Force O-6 and not worry about spending the rest of his career in unpleasant places doing unpleasant jobs. How did he really take it? I heard him brag about it to his friends on more than one occasion, so it must have been okay.

 


Comments
on Jun 15, 2011

The best pranks are the one where they never learn who dun it!  This one was, as you said, almost perfect!

on Jun 16, 2011

Yeah, I just couldn't keep my mouth shut...not the first time that I had that problem