Last night, after the editing wrangle and finally getting the last article posted,  MC and I were doing a little reminiscing about Patch Barracks and the atmosphere there.  She remembered the looks on the senior officers faces when they were out in public, a kind of deer-in-the-headlights combined with a what-the-hell-is-going-on look.  I mentioned how many generals were there, but there were literally dozens of Major/Lt Commander, Lt Colonel/Commander, and Colonel/Captain ranks in the headquarters as well.  Most soldiers don't have much contact with generals.  They are a scary unknown to the average GI.  So the GIs on Patch were equally skittish, trying to avoid all that brass.

A good friend of ours came to Patch from command of a fast attack submarine.  He was a Navy Commander and when at sea, he was "god" on the ship.  When he arrived at Patch he was shown to his office, which he shared with three other field grade officers;  it was not much bigger than the average living room and stuffed with four desks.  He was informed right away by his office-mates that the new guy had to make the coffee.  All  of those field grades and senior officers had been commanders of hundreds of men before they came to their new jobs on the EUCOM staff;  it was a place that was rough on the ego.  They had lived in a world where the comment, "I feel like having a hamburger" would be met by a flurry of activity as some support staff dashed out to find a fresh hamburger.  At Patch the comment would most often be met with, "Sounds good; get me one while you're out, okay?"

I shared with MC the legendary story of the young Lieutenant who was assigned to the Signal company on Patch.  a lieutenant is the equivalent of a PFC with signing authority.  Lieutenants like to be officers and  be saluted and all, but mostly they are in training to become officers.  In packs they do have a strong survival instinct, but individually they tend towards uncertainty, especially in the presence of higher authorities.  This particular LT was sent on an errand to the Command Center, some signal-type business.  It was rare to see LTs out in public at Patch, especially in daylight. 

Well, anyway, this lieutenant came into my office with that after-action look:  shaky hands, sweaty brow and upper lip,  rapid breathing, and incoherent speech.  Or maybe he was always like that;  I don't know, I had never met him before.  I asked him if he was all right and offered him a seat.  He told me he had been walking down the street on his way to my office when he was physically grabbed by a full colonel.  The LT was shocked.  The Colonel dragged him into the J-4/7 Directorate building and ordered him to come along as he pulled him up the stairs to the second floor and down the hall to the Director's office.  There was another Colonel in the anteroom and they both took the LT into the two-star general's office.  The first Colonel addressed the general:  "Look what I found...it was just walking around loose on the sidewalk out front!  I haven't seen one of these in ages!"  The general stood up behind his desk as the LT awkardly tried to salute and report with the Colonel hanging onto his arm.  The general knit his brow and pushed his head forward in concentration, then bellowed, "By Gosh!  That is a lieutenant!  What's it doing here?"  The three senior officers whooped and laughed and completely ignored the LT for a protracted moment; then the first colonel turned to the the LT and said, "Get out of here!"

The LT ran, I mean he actually RAN out of the building and across the street to my office.  I got him directed to the office he was supposed to be in and sent him on his way.  My boss was an Air Force Colonel and later I told him about the LT.  I said I should have held onto the LT long enough for my boss to see him, too.  But the boss just shrugged and said, "Eh...I've seen a lieutenant before."

The funniest part of this story is that I never saw that LT again; in fact, I didn't see hardly any lieutenants again, even though I knew there were a few of them stationed at Patch.  I think the story must have gotten around.