Listening to Joanie Mitchell's oldies...

Big doings this week in the Swirl.  We are the home of the Air Force Academy and their graduation was yesterday.  I was in the front yard rinsing off the Goat and Air Force One flew overhead on final approach to Pete Field.  Big, white, and distinctive blue stripe and emblem all clearly visible with the naked eye.  It is an awsome reminder that no matter who is the passenger, this is the nation's aircraft and it stands for the power and majesty of this great nation.

"...I could drink a case of you..."

Just a few minutes ago the house shook as the F/A-18s of the Air Force Thunderbirds roared off the runway (my house is right under the glide path to the airport).  There is no mistaking the difference between a commercial jetliner's roar and a high-performance military fighter on take-off power.  I guess they are going home...or off to a new show.  They did their thing above the academy yesterday so, being the patriot that I am, I went to the commissary at Fort Carson instead.  It just opened this week, a huge new facility that is much more modern than the one it replaced. 

"...loved me so naughty, made me weak in the knees..."

Some folks have complained about how much money it costs to put on those air shows...it is a staggering amount.  But it is one way, a very positive way that the Air Force gets to show off for the country...most of the folks who get to see the Hornet's amazing capabilities don't have time to appreciate them before they are turned to cinders.  (The show probably isn't as cool as that Brit who jumped out of a helicopter without a parachute...glided into a pile of boxes in his flying squirrel suit).

And the cost pales next to the cost of supporting the First Family's penchant for world-travel.

"...ooooh you're a mean old daddy but I like you..."

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Speaking of the commissary, you have to ask for paper bags when you check out or they pack up in a hundred or so plastic bags.  A few years ago they dropped the logo that they used to have on the bags...paper and plastic.  They’ve got bags that are different.  Not sure exactly how they are different;  they don't seem to be any thinner but they tear a lot more easily.  And the baggers (commissary baggers work for tips only;  most are retired military guys or their wives, a few are teens) were told to stop the practice of "double-bagging".  So we get weaker bags and we can't reinforce them.  That policy changed after too many broken bags spilled their contents across a snowy or wet parking lot.  I know that the driving force is always the almighty dollar...but how much do the weaker bags save when you have to use twice as many of them?  And incidently, they may be weaker but they are still strong enough to give you a heck of a paper cut between your index and Johnny Cash finger if you miss when you reach in the trunk to pick one up.

"...give spots on my apples but save me the birds and the bees..."

Wal-Mart has gone through several phases of plastic bags;  each "new" edition is weaker than the last.  Now they have a policy that they have to double-bag things that weigh so much or contain so many bottles or so many cans, etc.  Again, how much does it save to have to use two or three times as many bags...and when they get torn and spill out their contents, they blow away to permanently decorate neighboring fences, bushes, and trees.  Locals call them "Wal-Mart Sparrows".

"...I’ll even kiss a Sunset Pig..."

Toilets...buy one in the States and you better be sure you are getting some sort of power assist system.  The amount of water-per-flush is now federally mandated...to save water...never mind that anything more than a grandchild’s "teeny, tiny teed" will require two or three flushes to clear the bowl...and one extra to insure the movement continues to move on down the pipes.  Who is the genius who thought that this was a water-saving, cost-effective way to manage waste?

"...wish I had a river I could skate away on..."

Gasoline...we gotta have alcohol in our gas.  Makes things better.  When I was a kid, they put lead in the gas to slow down the burn;  slower, cooler burn meant more push and less heat buildup.  We move to non-leaded gas;  higher temps, more wear on the motor, less power...takes more gas to do the job...smart.  And what about all the commercials about gas they used to have...detergents and additives?  Did anyone really believe that you gas would take the stains out of your combustion chambers?  Remove the "ring-around-the-oilpan"?  Here in the colorful state, they have a different approach to gouging the consumer...in most states the low-grade fuel is 87 octane.  Here in the Swirl we get to pay the same low-grade price for 85 octane.  And oh yeah...alcohol in the gas...mixed with the high altitude...increases running temperatures in almost all cars which means more wear and tear.  Dragsters use alcohol in their fuel...but they rebuild their engines almost weekly...I can’t afford to do that.

"...The wind is in from Africa, last night I couldn’t sleep..."

A half-gallon of ice cream isn’t but it still costs more than a half-gallon used to.  A "pound" of bacon weighs twelve ounces now;  buy a real pound and the price will hurt your eyes.  Candy bars are smaller but cost more...that’s like telling your boss, "I know I was late this morning, sir, but I will leave early to make up for it".  In a lot of cases the packaging is the same price but they have added cardboard dunnage to keep the tiny little bar from slipping around.  Since Blue Bell got to town selling full half-gallons of ice cream, for lots of money (but it is worth it), I have seen some of the other brands bragging about having "A Full Half-Gallon"...and a really full price for it.

"...I’ve seen the world from both sides now..."

I think the inmates have taken over the asylum and they think we aren’t smart enough to notice what is going on.  Like New Coke was a scam to make the change from sugar to corn sweetener while we fussed over the Pepsi-tasting New Coke.  Now, forty years later, there are ads on TV trying to explain to us that our bodies don’t know the difference between sugar and corn sweetener...well...My taster knows the difference!

"...I see the geese in chevron flight, racing on before the snow, they’ve got the urge for going, they’ve got the wings to go..."

You ever notice how those vees of flying geese always have one side longer than the other?  Know why?

‘Cause there’s more geese on that side!   MC says that’s ‘cause geese can’t count.